Sunday, December 13, 2009
Resiliency and Life
I've been able to share a lot of my own personal good news here lately, and I'm really happy that I've been able to do so.
I don't usually use this space for personal matters outside of my cancer. It's not what I started this for and I didn't want to "muddy the waters;" I only intended this as a place for people to be able to find out how I'm doing when I wasn't able to do many emails.
However, I know many of you will want to know about this, and I haven't had a chance to contact all of you.
Mom's cancer has been catching up with her. She's had an incredible journey and an amazing fight against something that would have put many people on their knees a long time ago.
But she's starting to fail, and last Friday we re-initiated hospice.
The short version is that she's very frail, weak, and having a hard time. She has moments of great clarity and manages to find humor in situations even as she hurts and struggles. She shows love and appreciation for having family around. She's compliant and graceful as she enters this time of her life.
She may have hours and may have weeks. The reality is probably somewhere in between. Those of us close to the situation don't see her doing well -- but we know how resilient she can be.
Mom is one of the most resilient people I've ever known, but even she has limits.
I can't help but think about the gifts we're given at times like this. Although it's hard, and I sometimes have to say no to things I don't think I can do, I'm so glad for what I can do and share in. I'm glad and grateful to be part of this.
I'm so grateful her grandchildren care and share everything they can: their time, their love, their hearts. They've been incredible, and their love is a testament to her love for them all these years
I'm glad mom is so gracious and kind and gentle. I've been with people who are dying before, and I was told by those who work with the dying, that the pure and best essence of a person comes out at this time. And that's what I've seen.
It's so wonderful to see mom's purest love and spirit shining.
In a season of giving, no matter what your religous beliefs, I'm getting the ultimate gift. Time with my mom, when it matters like no other time.
May you all have the best gifts of the season.
Posted by Singing in the Dark at 11:46 PM