Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Saturday, January 1, 2011


Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative.  
A majority of people revert back to how there were before and feel like failures.  
This year I challenge you to a new resolution.  
I challenge you to just be yourself.
Aisha Elderwyn

It's easy to find flaws in one's self, and in others.  I've certainly never had a shortage of things about myself I was unhappy with, things that needed "fixing." And of course there's nothing wrong with wanting to be better.  But I'm not sure that focusing on flaws is always the best approach.

There's reason to look for the good, too -- to appreciate and be yourself.  To look for the uniqueness, the skills, the talents that make up you, and develop those.   

I think back on how much my life has changed in the last few years, and it gives me touchstones, where I was and where I am now. I like to see those changes; it helps me realize how far I've come.  Even more than looking back, though, I like the joy of each day, and of looking forward. 

Still, I'll never entirely leave breast cancer behind, even if I die with no recurrence; ask anyone who's been through it.  It becomes a part of who you are.  Only a part, but still, a part.   It will never be a friend or a gift (I just can't call cancer a gift. Really?  It's something you would wrap up and give to a loved one?  I don't think so.).  But it has introduced me to a sisterhood of women who know what it's like to stare at our own mortality and cry, and then show up anyway, and walk through the fear. It's given me an ever-deepening appreciation for the spirit and courage of people, and for the things that make each person uniquely themselves.

Most of all, it's a part of my life I can embrace instead of deny.  Every day I see the scars.   They remind me of my cancer, yes; and some days they bring back memories of treatment.  Only as I gain distance am I getting an appreciation for just how difficult and horrible that time was.  But most days  I don't dwell on cancer; it gets little more attention than the passing glance at my scars in the shower.  I'm reminded that cancer and that experience is part of me. Like all experiences, it has impacted me.  And I've chosen to take that experience to focus on what is best in my life and shed much of what isn't. 

And I'm reminded of my strength.  I'm reminded of my faith, my belief in my ability to get through things -- even cancer -- and come out on the other side.  Scarred, perhaps, but also stronger and hopefully a little better, a little more compassionate, a little more understanding, a little more patient.  Hopefully also a little more myself:  a little more appreciation for the parts of me that are unique and mine to develop and cherish, and a little more appreciation for the parts of me that I have in common with others, and with the universe.

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, 
room by room,
drawing up a list of work to be done, 
cracks to be patched.  
Maybe this year, to balance the list, 
we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... 
not looking for flaws, but for potential.
Ellen Goodman

I can't imagine I will ever stop looking for flaws in the rooms of my life, but I hope I can focus at least as much on the potential and the good.

Here's to a year of health, joy, and potential for us all!

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