I still go through acute anxiety with each mammogram ("It'll get better with time," they said. Ha!) but have graduated to once-a-year mammograms and my surgeon officially released me from seeing him this spring, after 5 years of follow-up. I still see my oncologist twice a year. I have neuropathy in my toes and some other slightly annoying side-effects from treatment but they are slight and nothing to complain about, mosquito bites in the overall scheme of things.
It took me a long time to get where I am post-treatment, some of that physical recovery, a lot more of it emotional and mental, but there isn't a day when I'm not grateful to be where I am. I still have things I'm working on but I'm in a place where I know I can do it.
In short, I'm a pretty happy camper. I delight in simple things, like fireflies and the moon at night and the clean air after a rain. I love reading, seeing people I love experience life's joys, laughing with a baby. I'm still picking up pieces and the puzzle that is emerging is a new one but it's fun to see it develop.
If you're reading this, I hope what I've shared gives you one main thing: hope. Hope is something I lost for awhile during this journey, not because of cancer but because of everything I was dealing with at one time. But I feel it again, and I'm grateful. As I've posted elsewhere in this blog:
Faith is the bird
that feels the light
when the dawn is still dark.
I am so happy to feel the light again -- I hope you feel it, too!